GRABBING IS A BAD IDEA, EVEN WHEN IT WORKS

It is up to the rest of us to respect ourselves and others in a way that deconstructs the feedback loop of rewarding the objectification of women that, at least for now,  still works. ~~~ Being single can be challenging, even difficult for men.  Some lack confidence.  Some look for lovers only to find “friends”.  […]

WHEN SEX TOYS BECOME “MARITAL AIDS”

Although many of the benefits of sex toys are obvious to anyone who owns them, the “sex positive” effect they can have on a relationship is where their full potential value resides. ~~~ So what’s your take on sex toys?  Do you think of them as a private secret?  Something to be kept in the […]

OH SEX, WHAT’S LUCK GOT TO DO WITH IT?

“I’m getting lucky tonight!” It’s a phrase we all know well. It’s that ageless colloquialism that proclaims to the world, “I’m about to have sex, and I’m pretty damn happy about it!” It’s certainly a great feeling, all of that excitement anticipation can bring – especially if you’re about to get busy with someone who […]

THE BUBBLE IS HELP FOR DESIRE TROUBLE

  Imagine there was a place you could go, where the elements of desire were guaranteed to be found: Welcome to “The Bubble” … an antidote for desire trouble. ~~~ I want to try something just a little bit different with this posting. I am going to diverge from my typical approach and ask for […]

SEX IS LIKE FOOD

Sex is like food? … take a moment to consider my reasoning, and perhaps you can begin to change your diet into a gourmet’s adventure.

WHERE DID ALL OF THAT HOT SEX GO?

… it’s not so much that desire is evaporating as it is that many of the components of your desire have been fulfilled, are no longer deemed important or no longer apply. _____ Remember all of that amazing sex you used to have? When you couldn’t wait to get naked with your future long-term partner, […]

THE 2 OBSTACLES TO MAKING SEXUAL FANTASY A REALITY

Having the sex life of your dreams is nothing short of a fantasy come true. And there are few truer ways to that end than to identify, then close, any gaps that may exist between the reality and fantasy of your current sex life. _____ Few would disagree that fantasy plays an important role in […]

A QUESTION OF CONFIDENCE

Check with the experts, read the surveys and just about any “top 10” list and you’re sure to find it: CONFIDENCE It’s what every man knows women want, it’s what they want, it is the quintessential masculine characteristic, guaranteed to result in success by any standard or measure, including the sex life of your dreams. […]

AVERAGE MAN, MEET EXCEPTIONAL SEX

In my last posting, Average Man, Meet Average Sex, I offered my perspective on how, in the absence of strong lessons to the contrary, culture becomes role model and teacher in shaping the sexuality of Average Man, and that the outcome of this learning strategy is not very effective. All in an attempt to encourage […]

AVERAGE MAN, MEET AVERAGE SEX

It seems to me that the main focus of the average guy’s sexuality remains pretty much unchanged throughout his life. He wants sex, and by sex I mean vaginal intercourse. It’s a worthy cause, and perfectly understandable – vaginal intercourse is the personification of human sexual contact, the perfect union of form and function. And […]

MESSAGES YOU CAN FEEL

Writing about sex requires a leap of faith – carefully selecting words and sculpting sentences in an attempt to convey some message or insight. But it’s when my work leads to intimate conversations with individuals, couples and small groups that communicating clearly about sex demonstrates its full potential, and understanding is more than a sum […]

THE DUDE BARRIER PREVENTS MEN FROM LEARNING ABOUT SEX

Hey DUDE, bro, buddy … this one’s for you! And if you are of the male persuasion, and happen to make it to the end of this post, then consider yourself exceptional;  because despite my best intentions, and those of many other writers like me, men are apparently less interested in learning about sex than […]

WHERE TO BEGIN – EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY

Are you at a crossroads with your sexuality … knowing there is so much more but just not sure on how to get there?  Here’s a suggestion for an easy and safe way into the unknown: Knowing where to begin can be a difficult decision to make, especially when facing something new or unfamiliar.  Often times, […]

WHAT DOES THAT SEXUAL DESIRE REALLY MEAN?

Name any sexual problem or concern, and with few exceptions, you will find its origins in the same two sources: fear, ignorance or both.  Fear, that shows itself in the forms of embarrassment or any aspect of sex that exposes our vulnerabilities; and ignorance, or the lack of knowledge and experience. The good news is […]

FORGET FOREPLAY, IT’S ALL JUST SEX

With all of the opportunities we have for miscommunication about sex, it may be time to discard one of the main contributors by eliminating the word “foreplay” from our vernacular.  I’m sure it started out innocently enough — and the word certainly has its merits — but in its present form and common usage, it […]

4 COMPONENTS TO MAKING GOOD SEX GREAT

Regardless of how we get started, in time most of us gain the knowledge and experience it takes to know the difference between good and great sex.  At the same time, we are also apt to learn that while good sex can be easy, great sex is rare. Sure, we may have had that once […]

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HER PLEASURE?

When you consider the many sexual myths and misconceptions our culture embraces, there are few of greater magnitude than the notion that men are responsible for women’s pleasure during sex.  It’s an idea that, although supported by many men and women, is its own worst enemy, keeping men and women trapped in a pattern of […]

WHAT FLAVOR IS YOUR SEX?

  Spend any time reading about sex and the word vanilla will soon emerge as a description for ordinary or routine-type sex – terms that never sound particularly flattering, especially when they hit a little too close to home.  After all, who would choose to have routine or ordinary sex when there are so many […]

WITH SEX, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU MIGHT COME TO ENJOY

If you read the signs of our culture, it is easy to conclude that many people have considered taking their sex lives beyond the routine and try something completely new.  The recent “Fifty Shades” phenomenon is certainly indicative of this point, suggesting by its popularity that the idea of dominant/submissive play has, if nothing else, a […]

SEX-SPEAK DECODED

We are pleased to announce the release of an extensive study that will once and for all solve the communication gap that has plagued countless sexual partners for eons.  After years of study and the selfless acts of hundreds of volunteers who subjected themselves to genital probes, heart and respiration monitors, skin moisture analysis and […]