Hi, I’m David Ede, the writer behind Get Real With Sex.
This all started many years ago, though I remember it well. It seemed simple, and yet profound, in a manner that can only come from the mind of a teenager. An attitude of certain immortality mixed with pre-manhood testosterone and the resolute opinion that I would one day be a writer. I was a successful student and had no difficulties with the mechanics. All I had to do was gather enough life experience to have anything worth writing about. Who knew that the exceptional experiences part of the journey would be all about sex?
Some college, then a job in the HR department of a huge auto parts factory in Detroit, and I’m off and running. And although never the central focus of my responsibilities, writing became a skill that set me apart and brought opportunity for exposure and promotion. Being rewarded for your efforts has its allure, and yet any bright future I could imagine was overshadowed by the constriction I felt from a path that seemed all too easy to follow. I had to get out.
Los Angeles was the place for me, and in short order, I settled into a corporate gig and a deep round of the “dreamless sleep”, or a pattern of behavior whereby life’s dreams are replaced with more practical endeavors such as the mindless pursuit of money and material possessions. Don’t get me wrong, it was fun and lucrative, just not particularly gratifying. And it took a corporate evisceration some years later to put my values in check, begging the question, “what do I really want to do with this life?”
To say this was a pivotal point in my life would be an understatement: newly divorced and half-time single dad of a toddler, kicking corporate life to the curb in favor of entrepreneurship, and a social life that was opening the doors to sexual exploration beyond anything I had experienced in my heretofore vanilla-only sex-life. I became interested in and regularly attended the fetish-themed clubs in Hollywood. Then a chat room led to a “social”, and an invitation to the group’s play parties. But rather than being on the sidelines like so many spectators waiting to be let in, I found myself in the thick of it: dancing and grinding with all the hotties on the dance floor, spanking and flogging girls for exhibition and participating in all manners of group and private sex parties.
Perhaps it was my interest in writing, or it may have been due to my interests in Taoism and Buddhism, but I began to observe myself from a third person perspective, watching myself turn on the sex appeal, giving and taking intimate liberties while other, less fortunate men could only watch and wonder why I could do what they could not. More often than not, however, I questioned nothing, and simply enjoyed the power, pleasure, and excitement that was coming from an unencumbered pursuit of full sexual expression.
In time, sex became the core ingredient of my social life, leading me through a progression of play party, power exchange, and role-playing sexual experiences. But this was more than just a simple mission of pleasure, it was a personal awakening; because each new experience also exposed its own level of ignorance, fear or inhibition. Each internal struggle, each reconciliation between the image of the man I thought I was, with the man who was finding pleasure in ways never before imagined created a tremendous opportunity for growth. And once the gates were open, and there was no longer any shame, fear or embarrassment to consider, there was only pleasure, often of types of play that only a few short months earlier I could not understand or appreciate.
As time went on it became apparent that the sum total of these sexual experiences was not only exceptional but was the impetus for life lessons that could and should be taught. If I could learn to be sexually free, unencumbered by societies value judgments and biases, then anyone can and should learn to experience all of what their sexuality has to offer. It was at this point where I began to write about sex, in a process that is explained in greater detail, here, and where my education truly began. I was not only continuing to accrue more and more sexy experiences, but now I was talking about sex in formal and informal settings, teaching people my theories, and researching answers to questions that were beyond my experience.
Thank you for your interest in this fledgling exercise in writing, teaching and learning about sex. I hope you find my perspective both informative and entertaining, and that you share with me, any comments, questions or concerns you might have.