Movie sex?  Not something I would likely turn down, but it’s no replacement for the real thing.


So I dash home between appointments, find my lover in our office engaged in nothing in particular, and bam! – within no time we are on the floor making saucy love.  No big deal, until among the “mmmm’s” and “aaaaahs” I declare:

“Honey, we’re having movie sex”!

Deal breaker?  No, we giggle and continue with renewed passion.

Why this is even the slightest bit mentionable is that movie sex is part of what I consider to be public enemy #1 when it comes to learning about sex.  Movie sex, or the manner in which sex is most often portrayed in film, is characterized by bodies slamming together, against walls, or falling off furniture.  Action accompanied by clothes being torn off, wild groping and apparent vaginal intercourse – all within a couple precious moments of screen time.  Though often enjoyable to watch, movie sex is not our friend when you consider how influential these images are.

Consider this parable:    

Without strong lessons to the contrary, we succumb to the influences of our culture.

I reason that there are few subjects of greater significance to our general wellbeing than sex, yet most of us receive little to no formal education on the subject.  There are the occasion lessons on contraception and STD transmission, and it would be difficult to imagine reaching age 10 without having at least a basic understanding of the mechanics – but that’s it!  With little else to turn to, we are left to our own imaginations and the images provided by our culture to define appropriate behavior and role modeling.

So what’s wrong with movie sex, you might ask?  Well nothing, of course, if you and your partner know the difference between a “quicky” and making love.  But even in a best-case scenario where a 5-minute quickie resulted in simultaneous, mind-blowing orgasms (probability near zero), wouldn’t you rather trade that experience for hours of pleasure and a greater probability of full satisfaction?

The first step is to be aware of what our culture is telling us about sex and consciously decide which aspects are right for you.  The second is to learn about sex and how to talk about it with your lover.

Movie sex?  Not something I would likely turn down, but it’s no replacement for the real thing.

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