We are pleased to announce the release of an extensive study that will once and for all solve the communication gap that has plagued countless sexual partners for eons. After years of study and the selfless acts of hundreds of volunteers who subjected themselves to genital probes, heart and respiration monitors, skin moisture analysis and countless other medical evaluations, researchers have decoded sex-speak, the “hmmmms”, “aaahhhs” and “ooohhhs” that humans have heretofore unsuccessfully used for the same purpose for countless generations.
While the full results of the study have yet to be released, researchers have made some preliminary findings available:
Quantity – the amount of copulatory vocalization, or sex-speak, expressed by an individual is not in itself an indicator of satisfaction or pleasure. Researchers have long ago concluded that females are generally more prone to copulatory vocalization than men, and hence a considerable difference in volume and quantity should be expected between male and female partners.
Female copulatory vocalization (FCV) – researchers have found that the meaning of most FCV is highly contextual. Moans, groans and non-verbal communications of all varieties that sound very much alike during various phases of sex (defined for the study’s purpose as any act or acts that elicit arousal) have entirely different meaning. Researchers cited the followings examples:
“… enthusiastic FCV while receiving oral sex means “you’re doing a good job and should continue”, while the same sounding FCV during intercourse that occurs at any time prior to 20 minutes after sex begins has entirely different meaning. It seems that in cases when intercourse is initiated relatively quickly, the same sounding sex-speak means “I acknowledge how much you’re enjoying yourself, and I don’t want to disappoint you by not also feeling the same”.
Male copulatory vocalization (MCV) – in nearly 100% of the male subjects studied, sex-speak was meant to communicate pleasure, as in “keep doing that because I like it” or “I am having so much fun” (primary message) and that “I hope you are too” (post orgasm).
Researchers indicated that in approximately 10% of the cases, sex-speak was 100% indicative of pleasure, satisfaction, and encouragement. These were the rare sessions where both partners were prone to also using words when having sex. These subjects were observed casually discussing what they wanted to do before sessions, or more commonly, what worked well or what they tried differently and how it felt after each session. The results from these individuals were discarded by researchers for being extraordinary.
Photo copyright: 123rf / Ryan Jorgensen